Valentines Gifts Guide. “Perfect For Those That Love To Hate”
Taking in the view from the office window, I can’t deny it fills my heart with joy to see our now half dead Christmas tree being dragged off by the local collection company, safe in the knowledge that Christmas is well and truly over. I’m no Scrooge, but when it’s done, it’s done. Besides, I can’t cope with any more egg nog, Only Fools and Horses repeats or cheese.
Like most retailers, my thoughts have turned to the new year and the Special Occasions that will entail. Having said that, I still wasn’t prepared for Easter Eggs on the shelves in my local supermarket the first week of January. WTF?! My daughter and better half’s birthdays are the next big events here at Smithers (no I haven’t forgotten – as if they’d let me), but for the majority, Valentine’s Day is the next joy to behold on the calendar. We always aim to cover all bases here at Smithers HQ for such glorious occasions and this year, we’ve gone with a certain theme – the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
Yes – I know Valentines is all about letting your loved ones know they are, well, loved……but, after receiving a fair few orders this Christmas that weren’t exactly sent with the best of intentions (think gift shopping for your ex), the sentiment tickled our fancy somewhat, hence the thought process behind this Valentines Gifts blog. Before we get to the Bad bit (or best bit in my book), let’s kick things off with the Good. If you and your beloved are as happy as pigs in s**t, then these love Valentines Gifts will definitely keep you in the pig sty and out of the dog house.
Lips Neon Light
February 14th is all about dishing out the kisses and our Lips Neon Light is the absolute epitome of Valentines. Those plump red lips strike a retro chord in any home and guarantee to make even the cold hearted want to pucker up. Designed as part of BLOW’s debut collection for Soletti, this pop art wall light transforms any blank canvas into a funky space for all to enjoy. I cannot recommend these Neon Lips enough – an amazing piece that never fails to gain attention.
All You Need Is Love Wall Sign
Our hand painted sign showcases those famous lyrics written by music legends John Lennon and Paul McCartney. The words may well be over fifty years old now but the message still rings true. The black and red lettering is a simple yet clever design that adds impact to the meaning behind those iconic words. These wall signs look great in the home – we have one hanging in the kitchen. They make a particularly lovely Valentines Gift if your other half is a music lover, and let’s face it, who doesn’t love the Beatles?! Big John Lennon fans here at Smithers.
Its Valentine’s evening – you’ve enjoyed a lovely dinner, you’re on your second bottle and Barry Whites schmoozing through your speakers. All you need now is some saucy lighting and you’re good to go. Ambient lighting is everything when it comes to wooing, and you won’t woo better than with our Adam and Eve Lamps! The lamps are sold as individual pieces but could you seriously break up this loved up couple?! This world renowned pair encapsulate the true meaning behind Valentines – behind every great man, there’s a great woman. What better gift to give to your loved one for Special Occasions.
And now for the good bit, well the Bad! I still find it mildly depressing that repeatedly running over your ex with a large truck is highly frowned upon, so imagine my delight this Christmas when we received a strangely large number of orders that were clearly meant for ex partners and not sent with the best of intentions! Being the Retail Guru that I am (go with it people), I felt it my retailing mission to cater to these fabulous people this Valentines. What can I say?! I’m drawn to people who don’t take any crap – my girlfriends nickname is She-Ra for Christ’s sake!!
The Bitch Sign
The world is full of bitches, and sadly some of them are ex’s. Look on the bright side fellas, at least they’re ex’s! They say it’s the thought that counts so why not deal one final blow and liven up your ex-partners Valentines, by sending them our Bitch Sign! This brutally honest wall sign guarantees to help hammer home the hatred and makes a brilliant parting gift. If nothing else, we’re sure your ex will appreciate the high quality of this eye-waveringly honest present!
Seletti Finger Globe
Nothing delivers a message quite so clearly as giving someone the finger. That undeniable and unwavering Middle Finger Art of hate. I’ve dished out many myself over the years, sadly nowadays most are executed during the sodding school run. Anyway, thanks to our collection from Seletti, you can now give your ex the finger, via a high quality Snow Globe!! Well, if you’re going to send your ex one final message, what better way to do it than with an Italian designer’s touch?!
Fuck Off Doormat
Ok we’re not exactly mincing our words here, but in my humble and slightly warped opinion, have definitely saved the best for last. I’m not one for beating around the bush and if you’re not either, then this one is for you. Our F**k Off Doormat is brilliantly brutal. Surely there is no come back from this?! Floor your ex once and for all with a little help from Smithers Valentines Gifts
Now I did mention this was the Good, the Bad and the Ugly so I’m guessing you’re wondering about the Ugly? Whilst I may be a very happy man at home, I’m always here to lend a helping hand to the less fortunate in love and so my friends, the Ugly takes the shape of Smithers sending your Valentine’s Day Messages along with your gift. When you make your purchase, you will be pleased to know we provide a message box service where you can type to your broken hearts content and we will gladly pass on your sentiments, however vile they may be. I said it was ugly.Of course, if yours is a happy love nest, we’ll gladly pass on nice messages too. We just don’t enjoy reading those as much!
Right my friends, time to sign off. Me and the missus have just got a new Bulldog puppy – Django (yes there will be photographs soon), and the little monsters just pissed under my desk! Hope you lot enjoyed my Valentines Gifts blog post.
Until next time,